Boob dependent....hardest thing EVER

Before I even got pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed. It was important to me to give it a good honest try! I read horror stories of how painful and horrible breast feeding could be and friends had given me every boobie cream possible to help with how tore up my boobs were about to be. I prepared myself for the worse and to my surprise Addison latched perfectly the very first time! I kept waiting to get these rock hard fake-looking boobs from engorgement and waiting to the pain and scabbing (gross) to happen and  it never did. I nursed on demand and never got engorged and never had anything but maybe a slight soreness. It was awesome. Nursing......NAILED IT!! Well after the 2nd week of NO sleep I decided we were going to try the bottle. I had read not to introduce a bottle until after the sixth week but considering I was going back to work 6 weeks from the day I gave birth I decided we needed to start early. I got her bottle ready, gave it to my husband, and with a tear in my eye I sat and waited to watch her gulp down that bottle and decide she never wanted to nurse again. Ha! She played with the bottle a bit and never really even took a sip. I thought it was probably because it was her first time trying the bottle but I thought for sure I would soon be replaced. Well it just goes to show you that you should expect the unexpected when having a child. The kid is almost 7 months old and still has never taken a bottle. Although I feel that it is a great accomplishment to run a successful salon while having to change my schedule dramatically to work around Addy's feeding schedule it has been hard. Most moms get a break at some point. They go out with friends while grandma, aunt, or a friend watches the little one but this momma doesn't get to do that. No wild night out, no dinners out, no over nights ever without the baby. I always planned that after about a month or two I would hand her over to my mom or my husband and hit the town but that break is yet to come. I know it will come eventually but now is just not the time. She depends on me for nourishment, comfort, and her goodnight nursing so therefore there is not a day that goes by that I'm not with her after just a few hours. No wild nights, not a few glasses of wine after a hard week, no staying up late in fear she may need that nursing session in the middle of the night. Like I said its hard but in the end it's rewarding to know that she has never taken a bottle and never will ( we're on to sippy cups now) and for that I feel I have accomplished something great. But boy will I do it up big when I can finally let loose ;)