A whole new ball game

I find that I have a hard time with all the love that comes with a new baby. I've never felt these emotions before and therefore it's hard for me to handle different situations. It breaks my heart when Addison cries. Not just little whines or normal cries but the hard sobbing horrible cries that you just don't know what's wrong. The hardest is when she's in the car. She's always hated the car. What baby hates the car? You hear stories all the time about parents having to drive their babies around because its the only thing that will put them to sleep. I will never have to do that, that's for sure! Today on one of our misadventures we had to go to Vallejo and Addison did great until the ride home. She lost it! Uncontrollable crying like she's in pain or not feeling well or something else I just couldn't figure out. I found myself a mess. It ended with me driving home and crying just as hard as she was. That doesn't happen much but cry sessions do happen when you have a kid. I hate that I wasn't back there with her consoling her but also glad that no one else was driving because I would have been even more stressed that they weren't getting home fast enough. It's amazing how all you want to do is help this helpless being. It ended with me racing home, with Abe and my mom silent not sure what to do with me and Addison crying so hard. All she needed was a little mommy time and a nap (a very short nap!) I've never had to just let go and realize I can't control everything. Babies are unpredictable and I can't always be right there holding her, kissing her, making everything better but if I could I would because there's nothing worse than not being able to help your baby when they're so so sad. No one prepares you for this and nobody ever could.